What prevents to build such relations, which are valuable for both parents and children? Let’s try to understand this from the point of view of the psychology of relationships .
First things first: since I’m talking about adult children, let’s define some terms: who is an adult? If your child’s mental development is normal, in 18 years it is perfectly normal to supererogate (separated) from the parents! He unconsciously preparing themselves for adult life and independence.
Instead enjoy such adult child, parents start to behave just the opposite: panic, throw tantrums, start fighting for is still important (for them) the place of a parent in the life of a son or daughter.
Dear parents, please understand that your children don’t belong to you. They are not a thing, not your property, they are completely separate and independent from you personality. It is difficult to understand, it requires courage and boldness.
Once you have given birth to their children. Have you ever wondered why? After all, you gave birth to them for their own enjoyment. You wanted to be touched by them and to meet their needs in motherhood and fatherhood. What does your children? so why, even when they are already 18, you continue to want to see their young? You still want to have control and power over them. Not selfishness?
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There lived one man, kind and intelligent. All he knew the measure was not stingy but frugal; with good people lived in harmony. Was his only son.
This young man nothing was like his father. To work not like and the house was not sitting. Once a week you take a look, and okay! And then with all my mi friends, the same as himself, the lazy, the time spent: with them, sometimes, and eat and drink, and they sleep.
It was a shame to the father that the son he has such a useless freak. Once or twice he chided him, and then called and said:
— Friendship is the dearest thing on earth. But you need to be friends with only those who are worthy of friendship. How well do you know your friends, son?
— How not to know, father? I, like yourself, I hope. They me not in sorrow or in joy will not leave.
— Well, if so,— says the father shows me to worry about.
As time went on. Father worked still, and her son had walked and carousing. One day he came home late at night, and my father sat silent, sullen.
— Something bad happened, father? asked the young man:
Evil happened, my son. and not from anyone I help.
— Tell me, maybe I can help!
— Say or not say — my grief will remain with me.
— Am I not a son to you? — broke out the young man.
— You’re my son, but I was destined to die, and a better one I will Continue reading
“Mom, I’m pregnant!” Why women are so often afraid for the first time to say these words? If we are talking about an unmarried young girl is still somehow can understand. But why such a fear of experiencing adult women, who have everything in order, have a loving husband, a separate apartment, and the child (first, second, third, fifth…) — they are waiting with joy?
The situation says the psychologist Alla Hwang.
It is noticed that in today’s society, today’s women are really sometimes there is fear of motherhood. Motherhood is not really fit to the values of this society: self-realization, career, achievements… the Future of motherhood begins to be perceived boundary between normal life and the life where all the popular values seem to be unavailable.
Against this background, the fear to admit the mother in pregnancy is quite understandable. But he himself is in some sense just a shadow. And figure that the shadow gives is actually a need to support the mother and a lack of confidence, she will get it.
Before the older woman, the mother helped in childbirth, took the child, washed, taught young how to feed, she remembered, as did the same for her mother. Modern women somewhere inside, in the subconscious, there is a neediness in this experience, in order Continue reading