Where are the children’s resentment? How to get rid of child soreness?
Resentment is a negative emotion, is a protective reaction of the body that occurs in response to the violation of the psychological borders on understatement of human virtues and criticism.
Emotions from the wrongs inflicted recorded, and all subsequent violations of the psychological space of the reaction is repeated and recorded in the subconscious mind as a destructive program .
The offense has magnetism, it is able to attract other grievances again and again. Resentment is toxic, because it is a negative emotion, with frequent repetition, resentment accumulates in the subconscious, not finding out corrodes energy and often materializes on any body that leads to serious illness. In this case we can say that not all diseases of the nerves, and from contaminated subconscious and accumulated grievances.
As you know, the strongest resentment we receive in childhood. and they lead us the rest of your life, giving people an inferiority complex, aggression, hatred, fear. Offence – it is a psychological invasion, from which the child is unable to protect his fragile psyche, for lack of his experience, knowledge and skills, defensive action that is necessary in this situation.
Sometimes, ambitious and selfish parents are involved in the development of their own career. or just for the sake of forcing seniors to care for younger, loading their children responsibilities. In society it is considered that the care and ability to take responsibility should be taught from childhood on the example of caring for younger siblings, as evidenced by the entrenched stereotype: «first give birth to the baby sitter, then pregnant”. Many parents giving birth to the second, third, child and follow this stereotype, accustoming, therefore, of the first children to work as slaves. to obedience.
In such cases, parents do not educate the individual, having your own opinion, and able to make choices. They teach children to be obedient, obedient because it is easier to manage. No one asks the children about their feelings, they are forced to obey the wishes of their parents and do their bidding. Children are unable to resist pressure from adults, and in their psyche is born of resentment.
Really first offenders often become parents. Parents – these are the people with whom the children gain their first experience of communication with the world. For example, relationships with parents, children to further build relationships with other children and adults in the future.
In society there is another stereotype: “senior knows more and better” because he lived a life. It is believed that parents are more experienced in the issues of life, and they are required to teach their children the rules of conduct in this world, but often quite differently, adults experience parents are not suitable to the new conditions of life in a rapidly changing world and even children can teach their parents the rules of life.
Illiterate education and upbringing of their children is causing serious harm to their psyche. So inferior, uneducated parents raise inferior, uneducated children, and so from generation to generation, from generation to generation.
In the last century, many women followed the “cult of work” is another pattern of behavior in the society of the last century. Women are responsible for the upbringing of their offspring, only having given birth, handed over their children to the nursery or kitchen gardens, and went to overfulfil the five-year plan. Women worked alongside men, and children grow up abandoned, neglected, deprived of love and affection. The near absence of the mother caused them questions: why she doesn’t like me? And he gave them their hearts ‘ offense. Due to the lack of love, these children grew sadistic and aggressors, as, for example, in the movie “the Scarecrow”. So there grew up a whole under-loved generation.
With resentment in children need to work. Children should be instructed on how to behave in situations with offenders, how to build a defensive shield, which words to say, what actions to perform in order to resolve the situation and not to allow resentment to live inside. Better to learn on dolls when a child, as if playing a role. But learning never should be type “fight back”, because violence begets violence; it must be the words with restrictions, for example, “don’t yell at me”, “don’t tell”, “to fight”. Disarming action for the offender can become compassion.
You have to remember that all grievances stem from the lack of culture. Offenders, as a rule, illiterate, uneducated children, or have already become adults, but they do not know how to have a normal relationship with others, and not knowing how to behave in different situations in society, not with delicacy and tact. Sometimes the actions of offenders manage their own grievances.
The basic rules of conduct, the rules of communication, like other habits and necessary for life programme of action laid in children under the age of 7 years. It was during these years children first learn about the world in all its beauty and attractiveness, and the first experience he is known to be the strongest, and the experiences and emotions of the experience can last a lifetime. Therefore, in this age, when the child’s mind active, you can lay the necessary sequence of actions to communicate with the world and people, as well as the correct reaction to what is happening.
If the resentment is already deeply crept into the psyche of the child, you must modify negative response to a positive. To remember and to talk over the situation and discuss possible options for protection, help to experience other emotions in this situation that would be entrenched in the immature attitude towards others. If you do not take measures to eradicate the wrongs in childhood, in adulthood to get rid of old accumulated grievances will be much more difficult.
As we know, in the history of Cain and Abel offense had serious consequences. Cain couldn’t win in accumulated resentment that led to the tragedy. Adults living with resentment, are grown inside the monster. They regret their offense, they nourish and cherish her, gradually becoming her slaves. She controls them, dictates the behavior and actions.
Resentment makes us see the world in a distorted way, and all the people with the offender by the same person. Some people struggle with resentment lasts a lifetime, beginning in childhood, they meet with the offender, so the first one that started it all, in different people. This may be the mother who chose the child’s work or another man. When the child grew up, he started his revenge to all women, across his path, seeing in each of his first offender. The abuser may be the father, which, for example, went to another family, and such act betrayed the child and his feelings, than to dwell in the heart of a child an inferiority complex, resentment and hatred.
It all starts with childhood. Another good example is the film “Loop”, where resentment of the child was to many characters in the film the end of their lives .
The resentment often exposed to sensitive children and adults, naive and open to the world. To get rid of this feeling, children need to learn how to build the barrier and be able to verbally defend their personal space from invasion shameless and intruders.
Adults also harder to fight ingrained in them a sense of resentment, but at desire it is possible. It is necessary to mentally return to the past and to ask forgiveness for the offender to apologize and still, and then the thread like a time loop will break.