How to raise a child, raising children
What moms and dads make mistakes in parenting– we all know it, and perhaps even normal, especially for young, inexperienced parents…
Often standing at the cash register in the store, we see the same picture: cries and tantrums of a child who wants so he bought some sweetness. And they, by the way, as luck would have it exhibited at the checkout. In our article we have sought the experience of German psychologists who talk about the errors made by the parents in the upbringing of children.
How to raise a child
German child psychologist Wolfgang Bergmann explains the problem of education of children with deep insecurities of parents: “Modern parents are more indecisive in matters of education than it did a generation ago. They know a lot, but, as it turns out, I don’t know anything…”
Being a parent is so hard because this is a new period of life. 100 years ago every family was brought up at least 5 children. Older children and parents participate in the education of their younger brothers and sisters. Still, the birth rate dropped significantly, families are all later. Because modern parents, in the majority, want to “stand up”, to make a career, and then start thinking about kids. The question of proper education – this is a long dispute about the decision of many problems and issues. Let’s consider some typical fallacies in education:
You need to praise children
According to the research of one of the Berlin universities, in some cases, praise can be counterproductive. According to research, students who promised something before running the job and at the same time pointed to the fact, as their proud teacher, performed the task worse than their classmates. Many parents are encouraged to praise their children, believing that this will create for them a good motivation. Praise, of course, must be present in education, however, as the saying goes, there just need to know the measure. Sahalia their children, parents often do not realize that one day their children can simply cease to perceive it. Not the frequency, but rather the manner of praise are everything. An excess of praise, rather slows down the development of the child than assists. Children overestimate their own abilities and no longer able to criticism.
Need all the free time to devote to the child
Yes, of course, the child should be given enough attention. However, this does not mean that you have to sit next to him the whole day, forgetting about his other Affairs. And if so happened that you are a single mother and you don’t have enough time to devote to a child. It is best to take the child some time. Plan some activity with a child, the game, tell him about what you will do. During the game the child will develop their imagination, to invent something new. Thus, the child will gradually develop independence. You’ll free yourself and be able to do household chores.
How to raise a child – reward the kid for help
The children grew equal members of the family, you need to gradually accustom them to a moderate housework by age. However, if a six year old child chooses and brings yourself a muffin for Breakfast is not a reason to send him to the bakery. And you should not blame the four year old child because he has not carried his plate to the sink after meals. So kids will never understand that you can help for a reason, and not because otherwise you’ll be punished.
Mistakes in parenting – a spoon for mom…
The problems with feeding, arise, paradoxically, in most cases, only if the parents show excessive concern in the nutrition of their children. Many parents fear that the child receives less nutrients, often pericardiac their children and also make them have something that the child does not want. Thus, in children it is sometimes the aversion to food and even fear of food, or the reverse situation… obesity. Often parents believe that they are right, forcing the child to eat when they say and what they say.
Parents should be friends to their children
Young parents sometimes like to explain how they go with their children to the disco. The desire of parents to be friends for their children is understandable, but not always justified. Because sometimes kids don’t want to see dudes in their parents, but rather want to see a parent advocate, a loved one who is stronger and powerful, not like they have to at the right moment to help and protect. If parents and children are spending too much time together, it’s not always popular with the children. Because they are, especially during puberty, want to have personal space.
In harmonious families children less fuss
If brothers and sisters often quarrel, but rather a symptom rather that they feel comfortable and secure in the home circle. Since the differences between the brother or sister – it is a social competent training. Surrounded by care and attention of children arguing, on average, 30% of the time spent together. If they feel in danger (at home or on the street) or parents threaten punishment, brothers and sisters almost always stick together. If children live in perfect harmony – it is certainly very nice in the first place for their parents. But if they quarrel among themselves, there is nothing wrong.
Parenting a child should not be bored.
Sometimes, looking at her bored child, the parents immediately begin to offer him every rational pastime: “let’s play with dice”, “tidy”, or, finally, include the child cartoons. And child, and as the saying goes, parents are calm. However this is a wrong action on the part of parents. The child sometimes is to sit in silence and think. Often in such moments, they visited many creative ideas how to spend their free time. And they are fun to continue to play.
Children must sit on the chair
Almost all parents want their child during lunch or during homework time, calmly and properly sitting on the chair. And children, on the contrary, you always want to swing, twirl on the chair. Many parents about it. Experts,however, concluded that the children in this case are right. Researchers from the University of Frankfurt (Germany) conducted a study, which was attended by 1,000 students, forced to sit for 9 hours at a Desk every day. And concluded that physical activity prevents the inhibition of development and helps to relieve nervous tension. So, dear parents, do not scold their child for excessive activity!
Self-confidence – it is the result of good parenting
Parents often believe that they affect the child’s self-esteem and due to their upbringing, their children grow up to be strong-willed individuals, or Vice versa. However, research has shown that at least 50 % of the personality traits associated with self-esteem, genetically. Also a mistaken assumption “the more confidence, the more success will have a child in school and future career”. Often this misconception. Too high self-esteem sometimes leads to overestimate their capabilities and conflicts in society. Children with high self-esteem is often very aggressively respond to criticism in the address.