Dialogues with the inner child – personal growth Training
A few years ago on one of psychological training I sewed the doll. From old mittens turned out cute doll with pigtails, but at the last moment my eye caught a large pink button with two holes. Without hesitation, I sewed this button on the place where should be the spout. Instead the girls turned out to be the mumps. I looked with surprise at what I created with my hands. I felt sorry for this silly naive pig which dressed up in skirt, tied bows, but this does not become a man. I named the doll with Darling and came up with about her tale. History was somehow sad. Understanding what all this is about me, came later. Initially, there were feelings of resentment, shame, anger and unbearable pain.
The process of healing the Child within oneself (“Divine child” as defined by Carl Jung) is long and painful. Sooner or later life puts every adult to have to revise their views and attitudes, change behavior, and often himself. It is obvious that in the childhood it is necessary to find the starting point of today’s problems, conflicts, emotional problems. Resentful, scared, hungry for love and understanding of a small child lives in every adult. In order to adapt to the demands of others or to survive in adverse conditions, the child learns many facilitating the provision of skills and ways of protection. This is a false entity, or a Wounded child. What helps in childhood, becomes a serious limitation in adult life, especially in the area of interpersonal relations. Children’s feelings are often not understandable to adults, and the child is deprived of the right to open their manifestation. The entire burden a child growing up, carries into adult life. Not abolishes grief manifests itself as chronic anxiety, tension, anger, irritability, guilt, shame. So we become hostages of their own childhood.
Treatment Inner child is the path to their true essence. The child refers to the part of us that has enormous creative energy and wisdom, because trusts his instincts and opened the mysterious subconscious. Perhaps he is like a child in the most Mature and perfect sense of the word: expressive, inventive, energetic, open and trusting, healthy indulges himself and enjoys life.A wounded child seeking help in any form and at any opportunity. Dad buying his son a toy, makes a gift and the little boy who never ceases to be; the mother, whose flow the tears of emotion at the children’s matinee, is mourning something. Therapy Inner child a professional consultant is possible only when he went through it myself. Otherwise, when faced with the pain of the client, he will consciously or unconsciously try to stop this process. Focus of practice at the first stage of the work may be to consider actual problems of the client and behaviour around her. Early memories of the client will help to see the childhood roots of trouble. Gradually, the counselor creates an environment of trust and safety in which people can allow your Inner child to tell his story. Toys, figures, stories, baby pictures protect the client, be discreet intermediaries, opening more global problems, such as low self-esteem, control, conditional love, distrust, fear and any feelings, which he never dared to. At this point begins the process of wypracowania. It can be very long and is accompanied by conflicting emotions, impulses, return to children’s behaviours. Unconditional acceptance and assessment with the consultant will help to ensure that people could Express their feelings as they arise without trying to change them. Stage wypracowania concludes with the need to find meaning in the loss, to forgive those who caused injury, focusing on the present, thoughts about the future. The client is recovering self-esteem, he feels joy from realizing growth. Methods of treatment of the child, which the client has learned in the course of employment, he can continue to use independently.
Group work with the Inner child in the adult client has its own features and limitations. I wouldn’t invite to training people with acute psychological problems, Allergy vulnerable or those whose childhood was too tragic. In these cases careful individual work.
Do not think that to get a child in an adult’s too easy. Manifesting your essence, the Child is repeatedly received in response to the pain. He was used to hiding and being suspicious. To allow the child to show yourself, you need a lot of effort, especially from the adult.
The training should be built on the best principles of pedagogy. These include the organization of the environment, able to interest the Child. Relevant are all kinds of toys, paints and scraps, records of children’s songs, candles and sweets. Child loves to play, give him this opportunity: let’s changing, depicts an animal or fairy tale character, is called a false name and comes up with stories. The child must be allowed to satisfy his touch hunger to touch, to look, to taste, to listen. And yet the Child is restless, he needs to ensure shift operation, to give the possibility to move, to speak, to shout, to draw, make, rest. All of the above is just the outside. Training is a huge mental task, requiring the participants ‘ willingness and maturity of the leader. There are many “gotchas” that are very difficult to describe. During the training they are unique. The most important thing for the facilitator is to love and accept your Child for who he is, to respect his feelings, not to try to save, and to trust his power and inner wisdom.
Doll darling still lives in my house. She has changed over the years: instead of buttons she has a normal nose; red “pioneer” bows I changed to blue; disappeared carnation, which she held in her hand. It changes after me, and her story is not so sad. Can life to mourn the wounds of his childhood, blaming the parents, the country, not to trust anyone due to the fact that all betrayed. But never too late to make his childhood happy. For this we need only to turn to your Child, look him in the eye and say: “My darling, I love you very much. What can I do to help?”
Shevtsova Irina, educational psychologist, counselling psychologist. EPC “Temenos”
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