A Quarrel between husband and wife: learn mutual respect
There are few families in which spouses do not argue and quarrel. If these exist, they are considered ideal for families. However, it is not so, because the couple quarrel can get rid of excess stress, negative emotions and to forget about personal grievances, pouring out his soul. But not everyone knows how to fight. What quarrels often turn into a real battle, where all the tricks are good.
Quarrel: the first years of life together
In order to answer the question of how best to quarrel, to begin to analyze the relationship between the spouses. The only way You will be able to determine how easy or hard You have a case, and as You do!
For example, the first fifteen years of marriage disputes can occur due to the fact that the couple defend their rules of behavior and habits. Wife lapped each other and change as the lapping characters. During this period, quarrels often arise due to domestic issues. And here just it is necessary to teach each other to have mutual respect and correctly to fight, so as not to allow family problems to be fixed.
Quarrels with the appearance of children
The way of life of the spouses changes completely the appearance of the first child in the family. The causes of quarrels between spouses is also changing as changing the degree of responsibility, and redistributed role. In this period, as a rule, the wife of a lack of assistance and support from her husband, and he in turn is constantly deprived of her attention. Because of this, there grievances and disputes as to who is better cope with the responsibilities and who how much busy.
When the firstborn is growing up, as a rule, the second child is born. And here disputes happen on the topic of how to raise a baby and who is in this business more successful.
Family quarrels in adulthood
At some point children grow up and leave home, creating their own family. Then a couple are alone with each other and with the conflicts and problems that were not solved. In this period, disputes usually arise on a background of jealousy. As a result, the couple can simply disperse. Therefore, it is desirable that the couple at this stage of family life have found common cause (raising grandchildren, for example), and have learned by this time to properly fight. In this case, almost certainly the family will remain full and happy.
Ways of influencing spouse during an argument
Oddly enough, but there are certain ways of influencing spouse in a dispute due to which the argument can be successfully overcome.
• That was not my fault. If one spouse accuses constantly and for no particular reason all the troubles of another, this can be described as some sort of terror. The fact that such person, shifting on his opponent all sorts of obligations, thus, tries to absolve themselves of the blame and to force your spouse to feel like he’s guilty of all without exception. In this case it is important to know that in no case during an argument not to get personal with each other, and if You are accused of something their partner, call clearly the reason for this reproach.
• Make her own way in silence. This is the most unfair and annoying. Using this tactic, You will never resolve the dispute. Moreover, You can drive in deeper. If Your partner behaves this way, it is possible to counteract it You can, only if you tell me about what You feel and understand what is happening. Promise me you’ll listen to it completely and then come together to solve a conflict.
• The use of tears. The way to succeed is usually used by women who realized that all the other arguments are not helped to achieve the desired effect. The fact is that seeing women’s tears, the man is lost and begins to feel guilty. However, if you frequently resort to this method, at some point, Your tears will simply cease to act on your partner. So remember – just can’t cry! And if you cry, then clearly identify the cause of Your tears.
• Writ, authoritarian tone. This method is usually used by the people who don’t know how else to justify their own arguments, and not quite sure they are right and that they will listen or at least will listen. In this case, they try to resort to coercion. With such people you need to properly argue. Should be gently confirm that in this matter the authority of the wife no doubt, but ask them to let You myself to solve their own problems.
• The humiliation of the opponent. This way of behavior in a family quarrel has all the chances to bring the family to divorce. If Your spouse use similar tactics, or his ego is too hurt and humiliation he thanks You wants to prove himself, or he simply badly brought up. To say how to behave in a given situation is difficult. One option is the right to tell your spouse that You are very hard, bitter and painful due to the fact that Your relationship with him go like that.
• Aggressive attitude and threats. If your partner is trying to prove that he is right in this way, it means that he needs to assert himself, in order to ensure his power over her husband and his authority in the family. This leads to constant aggression, blackmail and threats. In that case it is necessary to acknowledge the authority of that person, but to say that You and he are intelligent enough to come to a compromise, and without such methods of pressure. You need to agree that You have together to discuss all these things, and when discussing them casually and discuss the cause of Your quarrel.
Several ways on how to fight
One of the ways to fight is to talk to the spouse from his face. No need to reproach him: “you will not wait for help, you helped clean up, you don’t take out the garbage, etc!”. You always have to say “I”. Therefore, it is better to say: “I would be very grateful for your help around the house, etc!”.
Another way is not freaking out! If You know that Your spouse is too emotional during an argument, You must be calm. You must soberly look at the situation, to properly allow. Tell your spouse that You are ready to find a joint solution, as soon as he calms down.
It is also important to have the dispute was the goal. So not to scatter, to waste reproaches and accusations. The dispute arose for some reason, so do not spray and do not try to remember all Your problems and misunderstandings. Your goal is to bring the dispute to the correct decision. Only then can we start discussing earlier the problems.
It is important not to be afraid to come to reconcile after a fight first. Remember, this is not a sign of weakness, after all, always the first one comes to accept the one who is stronger. Learn how to treat each other’s mistakes condescending. And most importantly, do not get stuck in resentment for a long time. Thus, You will only move further away from each other, and only complicate the situation.
And more! One of the causes of conflicts are the fears of people. So women are terrible divorce and loneliness, and men manifest their true feelings and weaknesses. Feel free to talk to each other about their feelings. Let me understand beloved that his feelings for You is very important. Be sure the conflict is resolved and Your house will again be blessed with wonderful weather! Good Luck To You!
Another fight… How to make peace with a loved one?