Methods of raising children
Depending on the age of the child, his behavior and personality, parents can apply a variety of methods of education. The choice of parents used methods largely depends on how the parents themselves were brought up, how is the level of pedagogical and psychological knowledge, etc.
Important role when choosing methods of education is the parent’s behavior, which can be authoritarian, a complacent and democratic.
Parenting techniques not only allow to create a harmonious, Mature personality, sometimes they become the causes of many psychological complexes.
Basic methods of education
Method conversation or beliefs . This method can be applied in the education of children of different ages and with any character. During the conversation, the parent explains, and argues for how one ought to behave in a given situation, figures out the motives of the baby. The tone of the speech of the parent in conversation should be calm, confident and solid. Even year-old kids who can’t answer, listen carefully to the parent in response to the tone.
Method of positive reinforcement . Reinforcements are certain steps parents following action or deed. Reinforcement can be positive or negative (positive). Negative reinforcement we refer simply comments, punishment, positive — praise, gratitude, positive action on the part of the parent (to give a piece of candy, turn on cartoons, to give a new toy).
Method of positive reinforcement is to Express the child positive emotions . caused by his action. If the kid did something necessary and good, it is always necessary to praise, to Express their appreciation, it can be a smile, a kiss, hugs, nice words, “You’re a clever girl, well done, doing the right thing” or another action that causes the baby a pleasant and positive emotions.
The method of negative reinforcement based on the expression of the child’s negative attitude to his actions. This may be a reproach (“You did bad, you got upset parents”), comment (“This is a bad thing, good kids don’t do that”), punishment.
The punishment may be different. One type of effective punishment is the timeout, while the baby is left alone for some time, barring anything to do and not communicating with him. In families where punishment is widely used timeout as a rule, there are designated areas where the baby leave for some time, it can be a chair, stool, corner, getting to this place, the child understands that he did a bad thing and is punished for it.
Punishment can also be a fine. The bad thing you can pick up one of the toys the baby can be banned from watching cartoons or movies, to shorten the time of games. Don’t need as fine to use the actions that the child must comply with pleasure. For example, to force him to read or write, clean up the room, wash dishes. This will lead to the fact that the child will perceive these actions as extremely unpleasant and will avoid performing these processes. The penalty shall be deprivation of sweets or other Goodies (but not eating).
Method of training . maybe this sounds a bit harsh, but so is a method of positive and negative reinforcement. The basis of the method: for good behavior — positive reinforcement for bad behavior — negative. Sometimes this method is also called method of “carrot and stick” or “method of rewards and punishments”. The basic principle of all these methods is identical, however eat some differences, such as method of training involves positive reinforcement and method of award means the award. For example, the child washed the dishes, praise immediately after the process is reinforcement, and the promise to go with him on a weekend in the Park award.
The method of “1-2-3” . Effective method of education in those times when it is necessary to immediately stop the bad behavior of the child. Is the method that does the parent comment to the child about his behavior and starts to count to three, if at the end of the account, the child does not cease to behave badly should be punished. Method is used with children older than two years. Counting to three, and making the spaces between the digits for a few seconds (4-6 sec.) the parent gives the child a chance to think again, to change their behavior and to get out of the situation without punishment. If the baby does not respond to the comments of the adult and continues to misbehave after the score of “3”, it is necessary to enforce the punishment.
Using this method, parents should remain calm and not to lose confidence in themselves, the account must be a clear, confident voice, if the kid will understand that the parent is “on edge”, it may continue its operation, in the hope that he will be able to succeed.
The method of “broken record” . Often in response to their demands, the parent gets a lot of excuses and objections from the child, and to join with him in the controversy, resulting in not reaching your goal and only wastes time. For example: “Mary, get dressed, have to go to kindergarten,” “I do not want to kindergarten,” “No, have to go to kindergarten, and my mom”, “I wanna stay home”, “I can’t stay home”, etc. Explaining to the kid incomprehensible things, mom is just wasting time and starts to go out of balance. This conversation can be continued indefinitely. Is the mother to cease to engage in explanations and repeat their demands, as a child begins to perform what you need. “Jayne, get dressed, have to go to kindergarten,” “I do not want to kindergarten,” “Mary, you have to dress up and go”, “I want you to stay home,” “Mary, get dressed, we’ll go to the garden”, seeing that the mother is not going to matter and to continue the conversation is useless, the child begins to dress.
Many parents in the process of education apply the method of physical impact (flip flops, cuffs, Lasher). A definite answer to the expense of the efficiency of this method of education is still not found. It is no secret that until recently, Lasher was not only used to punish the children but also for adults. Today psychologists note method of physical punishment as the most ineffective and traumatic for the younger person. If you are a supporter of the use of physical effects on the child, try to apply this method only in the most extreme unusual cases. First we need to establish with the child psychological contact, and try to influence him humanely.